Valley-ism

“I knew you couldn’t resist my spiked morning coffee and omelet specia!” My best  friend said behind the bar. I scrunched my brow.

“Fine. Mimosas?” She added.

“No, but I’ll have coffee and one of your special. Please don’t spike anything.” I grabbed a stool and sat down. I grabbed my laptop and decided to check on the rest of the world. Why? Because well some times I like being outside The Valley.

OH MY GOD! LOOK WHO IT IS?”

I turned around to have a baby put into my arms.

“HERE! HOLD THIS.” She said as she turned to scold another child on the ground. Honestly, I had no idea who this woman was. My best friend came back with my coffee, also know as my addiction. I’m about ninety percent coffee ten percent water. You would think it would make me hyper but it calms me.

“It’s that girl who said she was going to beat the crap out of you freshman year because you were talking to her older brother.” My best friend whispered and then went to the back.

“WOW! YOU GAINED WEIGHT!” She said as she grabbed her baby back.

“Thanks. You’ve gained two kids?” I said as she gave me a once over.

“ACTUALLY, I HAVE THREE KIDS. AND LIKE 2 STEP KIDS BUT THEY DON’T COUNT. THEY DIDN’T COME OUT MY VAG… FOR YOUR INFORMATION. DON’T YOU EVER USE SOCIAL MEDIA? I POST ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME.” She pulled up a stool next to me. “SO HOW DID YOU GAIN ALL THAT WEIGHT?”

Right, I guess people never change. Welcome to the instigator. The rumor queen.

“LIKE DO YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? IS THAT WHY YOU’RE BACK?” She kept throwing questions as me. Then under her breath she said, “It makes sense now.”

For a minute there I just stared at her. Why had I come back to this place? This interrogation style of a greeting was not my style.

“I used to weigh barely 100 pound when you saw me last. If I still weighed that I would be worried about my health. No, I’m here because they have the best omelets in the world here. I would know. I’ve tried a lot of omelets other places. Why do you have a baby in a bar? Isn’t that illegal?”

“My boyfriend is picking up the kids so I can go in early to work.” She said quietly. Finally. She was screaming at me until the whole three people in the bar were staring at us.

“Oh, what do you do?” I said. I found it interesting that she sat down and her child was running around on the floor.

“I’m a dancer. I get to show off my goodies.” She stated proudly.

“Good for you.” I said. My food had finally come. When I say it’s the best omelet, I wait until my trips home (which aren’t often) to buy an omelet. They don’t make them like this anywhere else.

“Get your baby off the bar.” My best friend said. She was preparing to squeeze oranges. Or a fruit that looked like an orange.

“Well, my boyfriend just texted he’s outside. I’ll see you around.” She said as she got down from the stood. I shook my head in response, but that was not going to happen. I don’t remember her being so short, she was probably around 4’10”.

“Well, that was awkward.” My best friend said as she squeezed the lemon. The liquid went everywhere except the container she was trying to get it into.

“Shit. Why doesn’t anyone clean the squeezer?” She swore. A shout from the back said that she was the last one who used it and that she was lazy.

“Nothing ever changes.” I said.

“Nothing changes here. Other places change daily.” She responded.

Adding “You know who will definitely be in here to get a glimpse of you? Her fabulous brother.”

Great. Just Great.

“You know he’s single again, right? And he may or may not be the father of a few kids that mommas barely finished high school.” There was a smirk on her face that made me think back to our high school days.

I had the biggest crush on him. I danced with him at the prom. He had come with this other girl because he was older than us, by a lot actually. Then we exchanged numbers. I have to confess there are times when I actually lived here where I was not saint. Case in point, I stole someone’s prom date and then another time I stole someone’s boyfriend. I was a terrible person. But those are different stories for another time.

“Well, at least I didn’t get the crap beat out of me.” I responded.

“We could have taken them.” She responded waving her fists.

“Not worth it. He might have a jaw that could cut glass and a cowboy-ness to him. But that does not mean that fighting is the way to get what you want.” I said, picturing his face perfectly. I wonder if he changed or if The Valley had cast it’s magic on him. The Valley seems to have been build on the Fountain of Youth. No one ever ages or at least they have fabulous plastic surgeons.

“Yeah. He really had the hots for you girl. Then you ran away.” She was almost done with the lemons.

“Well, that was then. This is now. Do you want to hang out tonight?” I asked her because I finished my omelet and could have eaten another one but that would be excessive.

“Wanna skinny dip in my neighbor’s pool like we used to?” She said almost dropping the liquid all over the floor. She was excited.

“Sounds good to me. Do the boys still live there?” I asked.

“What do you think?” She said.

I knew what she meant.

I paid and turned to walk out.

“Maybe we’ll see how your stop sign skills are now that you’ve seen the world outside The Valley!” She screamed as I walked into the sun. I smiled and shook my head. I didn’t notice the large man coming in. It turned into an awkward hug thing.

“Oh lord. I am so sorr…” I was shaking my head and my heart did a backflip. It can’t be him.

 

 

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