International Incident

Just thought I would pop on here and update you on what’s been going on…

First, I made it on to the international news today. Yay me, right? I get to have my 15 minutes of fame! NOT! Like not even a little bit. Why? Well, if you must know, my wonderful father sent me a letter from wherever he is now. People feel sorry for him and are now making me out to be the bad guy because I refuse to talk to him. One letter doesn’t make up for eighteen years of being treated like that. He’s doing it for the publicity. He’s showing his clients that he still has it even though he’s locked up. I’m not as naïve as he believes I am. Well, not anymore, I’ve had to grow up fast.

Why does it seem like every time my life seems fine, it plummets and my father always seems to pop up and make it 100 times worse?

I’m still married. We (mostly Ashton’s mom) haven’t been able to find my “husband” and it makes worry (and as you know I never worry about anything; I pride myself with my go with the flow attitude). Part of me wants to go off the wagon and party my ass off but I don’t want to end up married again. I been dry as a desert in the summertime since Ashton found out I was married. Detoxing is not for the weak at heart. I didn’t know my body could hurt so much. Plus, I don’t feel like making dudes brother husbands. Also, now that I think about it, isn’t that illegal and I don’t want to end up in jail. Then I might get bored like my father and ask random people for forgiveness. Then, get my PR company off the ground while locked up, daughter like father.

So instead of boozing it up,  I’ve taken my hopeless life and started extreme exercise. I’ve been running on the beach, lifting weighs, and swimming miles. I could probably win a triathlon.  The only downside is that now I kind of look like a body builder. It’s not really the look I’m going for but I have a new party trick, my chest muscles are so developed I can move my tits. Recently, whenever Ashton has to tell me something serious, I start moving them and we end up laughing our asses off. I should probably calm down the whole working out craze.

Ashton and her mother are  working very hard to find out where we should go next to track this guy, aka my drunk mistake marriage. Ashton’s mom said we might want to call her friend, Kennedy, because she’s famous for finding men who don’t want to be found. She also said she could also be classified as a high end hooker that was never caught. Ashton’s mother would have a friend like that, to be honest. Her name sounded familiar but I couldn’t place her. I think my dumbass might actually be helping Ashton and her mom become closer. Well at least my rockbottom could bring them closer. They really needed it.

I guess I should go now, my washboard abs won’t work themselves out alone. It feels like my life is falling apart at the seams. I must have been a horrible person in my previous life. I’m not really sure how to fix it right now. It feels like I’m drowning in my problems. Tell me it gets better right?