I’ve never considered myself an adult. Yes, I know I have a daughter that is practically an adult herself but I’ve never felt like an adult. Honestly, I’m probably the world’s worse mother, I tend to make the worst decisions. As Gigi’s mother used to say, I make a lot of BLDs (bad life decisions).
I think it is time to give Gigi the letter her mother gave me the day she told me that she was pregnant. At the time I asked her if she wanted me to drive her to the clinic to get rid of it. I know I know! I am a terrible person but at seventeen you’re still a child. I know it’s controversial and looking back I’m glad Gigi’s mom told me to go F* myself. But Gigi’s mom, my best friend was the strongest person I know and was ready to become a mother. She was financially stable even without her father, shocking I know. She was always meant to be a mother.
If you are reading this then I am no longer with you. I know terrible way to start a letter, right. The moment I found out I was pregnant, well honestly knocked me on my ass. My life changed forever. I was so young at the time and all your father wanted was a boy. But I knew you were a girl. You came to me in my dreams. A curly blonde angel who stole my heart right away. I hated children and I wasn’t sure I even wanted one. But I wanted to meet that child who was in my dream. I never told your father that I knew you were a girl. As soon as you arrived you looked just like her. I could not wait to see you grow up and become a strong young woman, like me. I planned to grow up with you.
You must have done something life changing, otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten my letter. I told Stacey that she was only to give you this letter if something happened to you and I was no longer around. I hope that you follow your heart and live your life with love. Love in your heart. Your father is the love of my life and the other half of my soul. He was formal and business like, while he called me his passion. He would tell me I have so much passion for life. Love was powerful! You are strong and passionate like me.
Just believe in yourself.
I hope that this helps Gigi in this big life change.