I need my mommy.

Mother is a lot of things. I don’t think she was ready to be a mother when she had me. But if she sees me crying, she turns into super mom. She irons out the cape and shakes out her spandex. Gigi drove straight to the house. Mother was out by the pool again. I think she lit up when she saw me and then ran over to me when she saw my state.

I immediately stated sobbing. She held me and signaled the men around her to do things. And then said, “I thought we discussed ‘beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer in the clear’ when you were old enough to know what booze was?” My mother everyone, sometimes you just don’t know what is going to come out of her mouth. “Are you okay?”

NO! I wailed. She looked over at Gigi now. I could barely see Gigi through my watery blurred eyes. I think she was doing arm movement and mouthing words.

Mother hugged me a little tighter. Then said, “You must change. Come on. You’re about my size now.”

I was her size, except my boobs were not the same size. Her new bust size was about ten times bigger then mine now. Okay so I’m exaggerating but it’s what it felt like when I tried on that first top. She said, “Baby, would you like me to pay for your boob job?” Then we finally talked about the divorce. I asked her if she knew about dad’s lover and surprisingly she did for a long time even before the divorce. And how she was having a hard time dealing with it to be honest. Apparently she was seeing a therapist since I came back and left suddenly. I told her then that I was worried about her drinking. Which resulted in “Ditto sister.” When she was finally done with my makeover. We went down to the kitchen which her men stocked with everything a girl needs. Chocolate, sweets, candy, tissues, romantic movies, flowers, pizza, cleaning supplies, and jewelry. Apparently they were being schooled on the ways to a woman’s heart by my mother. It was like her own type of prep school. She should have a sign that says “F*boy to Gentleman.” The men kept complimenting me. It felt nice being treated like something special. Then I saw someone among the guys who made me want to get sick again and run away.

XOXO

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