Trust Issues

Ashton will tell you I have daddy issues. I mean who doesn’t!? If they say they don’t they’re fucking lying. (Sorry Ashton I needed to use the real word that time.) Sebastian hasn’t called or answered any of my texts. He’s cheating! I just know it. He said he was going to go out with his friends to this party, which by the way he didn’t invite me to. If you can’t tell I’m pissed. I know I know, it’s okay to go out with your friends. It is a healthy part of a relationship but not when I turn invisible when he’s out. Not cool dude. I hinted towards me trust issues. So I didn’t tell him everything yet I barely know him. He doesn’t even know about my mother.

It’s not like this new guy has done anything wrong, yet.  I’m not sure why I keep thinking that word yet. Yet. Yet. Yet. Why? It’s like I’m programmed wrong. I want to trust him with my heart and soul but I don’t let people in that easily. Especially after what Logan did, that series of craptastic events, I don’t know if I can truly trust anyone with a penis. Well for that matter a vagina too come to think of it. F ! Most of my school friends want to get with my dad and he will gladly do them too. Men suck!

I wonder what will help to get me over this trust issue shit. It’s getting old and it’s getting old real fast! Maybe I’ll just have to talk to Sebastian about it. I mean I’ve gone to years of therapy, my dad basically paid for the therapist’s new car and boobs. She didn’t really help me and honestly I think she made it worse so that I would keep seeing her. Oh did I tell you my father was sleeping with her too by the end? I didn’t well now you know.

Why did father have to kick Ashton out? I really really need her… maybe I’ll just stay with her? Why isn’t she answering the phone! So not like her! There’s only one thing to do in a time like this… call her mother. Well I guess she found out about her father’s lover because she is not at her mother’s house. Do you think her father would care if I stayed with them?

I’ll let you know when I get there.

I made it. I can’t believe his new house is on the beach. I love it! It looks like an architect and an interior designer’s love child = dream house. Those windows overlooking the ocean, breathtaking. As soon as I got inside I turned my phone back on,  I got five texts from Sebastian, a voicemail and even some pictures (those were naughty.)

I think I overreacted. Okay, yeah I know I overreacted. Why am I programmed like that? Do you think it’s because it’s more prominent in the media and on social media? Cheating seems to be everywhere and then some, guys have side-chicks (aka my father) or just straight up screw multiple people at the same time saying they don’t have feelings, what is wrong with people?

I think I’m going to wait to see what he says. Let him sweat it out. I’m pissed still, that drive helped a little bit but I need to talk to Ashton.

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