I hope I ran over his foot!

Ashton has seen her mother in all her glory. Men, men, men and more men. I wonder if she saw them naked? I’ll have to ask!

Maybe I’ll be just like Ashton’s mother when I get old. She looks pretty good for her age. And those young guys she’s banging, no words can express the shock. Especially after the shit show that was the aftermath of that divorce, thank god Ash didn’t see that. You think this is bad with the men, honey you don’t want to know where that started.

Ashton’s mother is basically the exact thing my father looks for in a wife, only 30 years younger. Hell sometimes, when he’s home, my school “friends” try to get with him. It’s only because he is loaded.  They don’t know that if they did marry him it would only be for a few months and then he’d leave them with nothing. Prenuptial agreements are his thing. He has never had to pay an ex-wife anything. I even think he may have a few that are paying him.

Anyways back to what I started writing then got sidetracked. Ashton is going to live with me. Basically what she used to do when her parents would fight and my mom was still alive. This was before she went off to school.

Tonight I’m going out on a date. I know it’s really soon to start dating again but it’s good to get back on the horse. I met this guy on a dating app my dad’s ex-wife told me about. I know it’s weird to still talk to them even though they aren’t related to me anymore. But she’s sweet and obviously has daddy issues because she’s only 25 and married my father. She said it’s the classier version of the hooker app so here goes nothing. Should  wear a wig or rock what I got going on? Bad boy blue… Or will that scare him away?

I’ll let you know how it goes…

I made it back from the date. Disaster doesn’t even come close to covering it. Where was Ashton when I needed her? I literally went to the bathroom like five times trying to call her to use our code. You know the one we had worked out earlier in the evening. I call tell her that the date is going horrible and then she calls me when I get back to the table. Then she calls me back, starts crying, basically screaming into the phone. I then say “I am so sorry! I have to go!” Rush out of the restaurant… pay cash run away as fast as I can.

BUT no! No one picked up! Where was she! She better be passed out drunk. When I got home she wasn’t there so I’m assuming she’s at her mother’s house.

Back to the date… He didn’t tell me where we going until one hour before the actual date. He told me to meet him there. Then I had to get my own door. Once we were at the table he would not stop talking. You know the topics you should not bring up in public… politics, religion, wine. For a dude, he knows so much about abortions. Not appropriate dinner conversation. He swirled and spit the wine, too.

The best part… Wait for it… he made me pay. He spoke about my father and how he knew there was family money. When the check came he pushed it towards me and said “Baby, you got this?” He ordered the filet and lobster stuffed everything making it almost $500.00 and so many booze that he probably should not have driven home. But the golden moment was that he ordered everything and then said “We want one more plate we’re sharing the meal.” I stayed because I was trying to be a nice person. I was channelling Ashton. We walked out to the cars. He grabbed my arm and tried to kiss me… wet sloppy, unattractive, vomit. I smacked him. A hard bitch slapped. He deserved it. My palm hurt but it was worth it. He called me every name you could think of and then I gave it right back to him. Ten times worse. What? He needed to know he was a giant ass. I got in my car and sped away. Hopefully, I ran over his foot.

Now I’m going to sleep. It was a long night.