New Everything!

So my mother has completely lost her mind. I swear you would think once you hit a certain age you would become a sophisticated grown up. Boy, was I wrong!

My mother has made herself over. Literally. New boobs, new butt, new tummy, and new nose. She has dyed her hair platinum blonde and decided she needs to show off as much as she can. Skimpy outfits that should be reserved for escorts and strippers. She is a completely different person. Thank god she doesn’t look plastic (yet!) but if she does anything else to her face then she will look like those old people in Hollywood that can’t move their face. You know the one’s that have no facial expressions but wrinkled necks. Those women are scary! I just can’t even.

I finally found her by the pool surrounded by her and I quote “boy toys.” She called them that when we talked on the phone for our weekly updates on my life. YUCK!  I’m in my room because I don’t want to run into the “hand” guy again or anyone else that might try to give it their best go to nail me. Do they not realize that I am only 17 years old?

When I went looking for her earlier, she was by the pool. Leopard bikini, guy’s arm wrapped around her. She didn’t even notice I was there until I cleared my throat. They smelled like alcoholic beverages.

“HONEY!” was the only thing she said before she passed out.

I think I might need to stay with G.